In life and in society we play the game of comparing. Why is it that we play the game of rating ourself to a social class and compare our life to another person's?
We discussed in class about the way we rate and compare ourself . . .
-economics; ranges and division
-socio economics
-rank
-lower and upper class
-the value we place on things
-assumptions/expectations
-the clothing we wear
-the place of work
This is a list of things we rate ourself and base our self worth on, which should be the opposite. In the world we live in there is a place and a spot for everyone- no judgment needs to be placed. We were born with spiritual gifts and talents that were for us. We need to build upon those and live up to YOUR potential. Notice that I wrote YOUR! You are you, no one else is like you. You have a place in this world. Let's stop comparing and be our BEST self.
Live as though it was your last day, show your pearly whites,
cherish the moments you have, love with all your heart,
and most important-
be who you want to be: there is no one else like you.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
System and Theory
In our families we what research calls "family system thinking" and "family system theory" you may be thinking to yourself what are these? Don't worry I will explain.
Family system thinking is the general way of thinking and goes along with a hypothesis. A theory is more flexible than a law. While family system theory on the other hand is as a whole or the individual. A families influence on a child is more than any other influence the child can receive. A families influences heavily.
Within these two systems we have boundaries. There are three different types of boundaries that are apparent in a family.
Enmeshed . . . . . . . . . . which means more involvement than needs to be. For example; a mother oversteps her boundaries in child's life when the child is doing just fine.
Clear - - - - - - - - - - - which means equal means on both sides of the line
Rigid_____________ which means no involvement
In a family a normal relationship should be like this
child
The Father and Mother should be in the circle together with clear boundaries and children have clear boundaries outside the circle. The circle is called Executive/Parental subset
Family system thinking is the general way of thinking and goes along with a hypothesis. A theory is more flexible than a law. While family system theory on the other hand is as a whole or the individual. A families influence on a child is more than any other influence the child can receive. A families influences heavily.
Within these two systems we have boundaries. There are three different types of boundaries that are apparent in a family.
Enmeshed . . . . . . . . . . which means more involvement than needs to be. For example; a mother oversteps her boundaries in child's life when the child is doing just fine.
Clear - - - - - - - - - - - which means equal means on both sides of the line
Rigid_____________ which means no involvement
In a family a normal relationship should be like this
The Father and Mother should be in the circle together with clear boundaries and children have clear boundaries outside the circle. The circle is called Executive/Parental subset
The affects of setting Trends . . .
In class we having been discussing the trends in society and how they are having an affect on Marriage and Family. Some of the trends that were studied and we read about are . . . premarital sex, births out of wedlock, living alone, cohabitation, delayed marriages, decrease in birth rate- which leads to lower count of house hold members, working mothers, and divorce.
What if we take premarital sex out of the trends? Would we then have all these other trends? Premarital sex has a HUGE part in all these trends and factors. Let's take pre-marital sex out of the picture. The things we would eliminate out of the world are, diseases would lower significantly, unwanted marriages would not take place, cohabitation is not a necessity, children would not be born out of wedlock which would improve the family system, and finally the mothers who have to work to support their children could stay in the home.
This factor not only affects the person and the partner and potential child- it affects the family of both individuals.
My teacher Brother Williams compared marriage and cohabitation to a glad container and a crystal glass bowl, which one do you use with more care? I would totally without a doubt handle with more care the crystal glass bowl compared to a plastic tupperware. Marriages are the crystal glass tupperware, which implies handle with care while cohabiting partners treat each other like a tupperware.
Is we ME values or WE values?
What if we take premarital sex out of the trends? Would we then have all these other trends? Premarital sex has a HUGE part in all these trends and factors. Let's take pre-marital sex out of the picture. The things we would eliminate out of the world are, diseases would lower significantly, unwanted marriages would not take place, cohabitation is not a necessity, children would not be born out of wedlock which would improve the family system, and finally the mothers who have to work to support their children could stay in the home.
This factor not only affects the person and the partner and potential child- it affects the family of both individuals.
My teacher Brother Williams compared marriage and cohabitation to a glad container and a crystal glass bowl, which one do you use with more care? I would totally without a doubt handle with more care the crystal glass bowl compared to a plastic tupperware. Marriages are the crystal glass tupperware, which implies handle with care while cohabiting partners treat each other like a tupperware.
Is we ME values or WE values?
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Beauty of the Earth . . . how do we compare it to families?!
Sometimes in life we take things for granted, I know I do all the time and not really stop to take in the moment. I looked out the window as the snow came down, an overwhelming gratitude entered my heart and thoughts raced through my mind as I reflected on what I have been learning in my classes and applying it to life. If you take each snow flake- they are all different and have different features. No two snowflakes are the same. If you ponder on this and think about it and realize that God created us- how amazing it is to know that there is no other person that looks like us.
In families, comparing it to snow, we all have our different personalities, talents, skills and looks, we have different dreams and aspirations. If you look at the snow as it lands on the ground- all together, ITS BEAUTIFUL! Being a family is a beautiful thing. What would we do without our families? Would the snow be as beautiful as it is? Where would we be without our loving familes?
In families, comparing it to snow, we all have our different personalities, talents, skills and looks, we have different dreams and aspirations. If you look at the snow as it lands on the ground- all together, ITS BEAUTIFUL! Being a family is a beautiful thing. What would we do without our families? Would the snow be as beautiful as it is? Where would we be without our loving familes?
Saturday, January 8, 2011
BeCoMiNg who you are
Being in class and listening to the discussion of family and the importance of family is really interesting to listen to and ponder upon it. As a class we discussed Elder Oaks talk
"The Challenge to Become"
"The Challenge to Become"
Some of my thoughts on this subject and talk were- of becoming who we are suppose to be is a learning process and takes some time.
Sometimes in life we go with the flow because it's the easiest way to follow . . . with family sometimes we are involved and grow up with things that we don't agree on. Let's compare this to a stream- in a stream the logs go with the flow to avoid conflict. The silt and rocks push forward. When a log blocks the stream, the log takes the brunt of everything and blocks the silt, moss, and rocks- leaving the water pure. Let's apply this to our lives, Don't just go with the flow-make the "stream" after you clean and pure. Be a purifying influence. Becoming this way may fill in your soul and make you become who you're suppose to be.
Become who you are suppose to be!
Why Family?
Many people wonder why family is so important in our society today? Some people don't understand the importance of family and the effects of having a family. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World it states, "We solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children . . . The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan." Take the two words that are bold and underlined, Central and Essential. These two words have significant meaning. Take a minute and think about your family and the influence they have in your life. Let us go back to the basics. . . Family isn't it about time.
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