When you are in the middle of a crisis is there an opportunity you may be able to see. As a couple, if you are careful, you could come together stronger before. Sometimes we see crises in our life as a problem that may never leave and sometimes we are bogged down thinking that this crisis will never end. Let me briefly give an example that was discussed in class that might shed some light on the fact to opening our eyes to opportunities within the crisis.
In some families there are members in our family that are not members of the church and don't have a knowledge of the after life which leads us to the opportunities we can share. A death in the family can be very devastating if you do not have a knowledge of the plan of salvation, yes it is joyful that you have a knowledge seeing them again, but it is a sad time to go through knowing that they are not here on the earth. In this case you can teach your nonmember family members about the gospel and let them know of the plan of salvation and that you will be able to see your family member again! How joyful and happy that makes your heart in knowing that you can see loved ones again. With death is gives understanding and we are able to see the BIG picture, the eternal perspective that we enjoy!
When I am facing a trial I know that God will not give me more than I can handle, He knows that I can conquer my stumbles and fumbles. And we are promised this in the scriptures. 1 Corinthians 10:13. Prayerfully consider in the depths of our crisis. He will be there when I am facing the trials that I think are going to consume me. "You cannot let crisis consume your life!"
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Crisis- the source of crises
Crisis means danger and opportunity. With a crisis sometimes brings danger and along with opportunity. I thought this to be interesting in a crisis, there is always an opportunity involved in the danger.
Crisis sometimes allows us to change our thinking.
Let take for example a crisis that may happen in a family: unemployment. . . what could be the positives in losing your job while trying to support and provide for a family? You may be thinking that I am crazy and there is no way possible that unemployment could bring a positive attitude. You may want to ponder this more and think again! Some positives in unemployment are: working together, budgeting your money and learning the necessary skill, along with budgeting is changing your values of how you spend your money and be more conscience of where it is going, your spouse is home more and you can spend time with them, you even get a break from work!, establish different patterns in the family.
Crisis may mean differently to you now! I know for me it is different and I look on life in a more positive light!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...
Why do people want to be married?
- companionship
- having babies
- social expectations
- security
- LoVe
- being with your best friend forever
- self fulfillment
- meeting our needs
- Eternity . . . celestial marriage
The reasons I want to be married:
- Have a best friend by my side forever
- my cousin said, "have sleep overs all the time!"
- everyone wants to be loved and wanted
- to follow the example of my parents
- seeing the benefits of marriage
- creating a family of my own
- being a wife and mother
- starting our own family adventures
- someone to share dreams with
- Because I love them with all my heart
"Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children."
MaRrAiGe: the happy times are happier and the sad times are easier to get through.
When the above mentioned things are not working and not meeting our expectations we develop feelings of: disappointment, discouragement, resentment and offense- we need to step back and look at ourself and evaluate why we are feeling that way. put your life in your spouses for a minute and figure it out.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Fathers and Mothers- equal but different
In the Family Proclamation to the World it states, "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." When I think of fathers and mothers and their roles I think of how each role is different but equal.
Bruce K. Satterfield, gave a talk and was comparing our hands to couples, said, "Both hands are equal BUT opposite. They were not created to be the same- they were created to be equal partners" As parents you work together, you don't have the same qualities and the same mind traits- so therefore when a man's brain and a woman's brain come together and work together different thoughts and ideas come together and make an ideal "plan". Going back to the hands- they both are different but they work together and create wonderful things.
Sitting in class we were discussing the different traits and roles males and females play. A young lady in the class talked about the minds of male and female. Females have a mind of all thoughts are connected to each other while men have a mind in boxes. They open one box at a time. This was divinely appointed- while men give blessings they are focused on giving the blessings and being the mouthpiece for our Heavenly Father while women can sit there and listen to the blessing while thinking of different things pertained to the blessing.
We cannot flipflop roles we were made like that.
Be grateful for who you are!
Bruce K. Satterfield, gave a talk and was comparing our hands to couples, said, "Both hands are equal BUT opposite. They were not created to be the same- they were created to be equal partners" As parents you work together, you don't have the same qualities and the same mind traits- so therefore when a man's brain and a woman's brain come together and work together different thoughts and ideas come together and make an ideal "plan". Going back to the hands- they both are different but they work together and create wonderful things.
Sitting in class we were discussing the different traits and roles males and females play. A young lady in the class talked about the minds of male and female. Females have a mind of all thoughts are connected to each other while men have a mind in boxes. They open one box at a time. This was divinely appointed- while men give blessings they are focused on giving the blessings and being the mouthpiece for our Heavenly Father while women can sit there and listen to the blessing while thinking of different things pertained to the blessing.
We cannot flipflop roles we were made like that.
Be grateful for who you are!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Why do we do that?
In life and in society we play the game of comparing. Why is it that we play the game of rating ourself to a social class and compare our life to another person's?
We discussed in class about the way we rate and compare ourself . . .
-economics; ranges and division
-socio economics
-rank
-lower and upper class
-the value we place on things
-assumptions/expectations
-the clothing we wear
-the place of work
This is a list of things we rate ourself and base our self worth on, which should be the opposite. In the world we live in there is a place and a spot for everyone- no judgment needs to be placed. We were born with spiritual gifts and talents that were for us. We need to build upon those and live up to YOUR potential. Notice that I wrote YOUR! You are you, no one else is like you. You have a place in this world. Let's stop comparing and be our BEST self.
Live as though it was your last day, show your pearly whites,
cherish the moments you have, love with all your heart,
and most important-
be who you want to be: there is no one else like you.
We discussed in class about the way we rate and compare ourself . . .
-economics; ranges and division
-socio economics
-rank
-lower and upper class
-the value we place on things
-assumptions/expectations
-the clothing we wear
-the place of work
This is a list of things we rate ourself and base our self worth on, which should be the opposite. In the world we live in there is a place and a spot for everyone- no judgment needs to be placed. We were born with spiritual gifts and talents that were for us. We need to build upon those and live up to YOUR potential. Notice that I wrote YOUR! You are you, no one else is like you. You have a place in this world. Let's stop comparing and be our BEST self.
Live as though it was your last day, show your pearly whites,
cherish the moments you have, love with all your heart,
and most important-
be who you want to be: there is no one else like you.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
System and Theory
In our families we what research calls "family system thinking" and "family system theory" you may be thinking to yourself what are these? Don't worry I will explain.
Family system thinking is the general way of thinking and goes along with a hypothesis. A theory is more flexible than a law. While family system theory on the other hand is as a whole or the individual. A families influence on a child is more than any other influence the child can receive. A families influences heavily.
Within these two systems we have boundaries. There are three different types of boundaries that are apparent in a family.
Enmeshed . . . . . . . . . . which means more involvement than needs to be. For example; a mother oversteps her boundaries in child's life when the child is doing just fine.
Clear - - - - - - - - - - - which means equal means on both sides of the line
Rigid_____________ which means no involvement
In a family a normal relationship should be like this
child
The Father and Mother should be in the circle together with clear boundaries and children have clear boundaries outside the circle. The circle is called Executive/Parental subset
Family system thinking is the general way of thinking and goes along with a hypothesis. A theory is more flexible than a law. While family system theory on the other hand is as a whole or the individual. A families influence on a child is more than any other influence the child can receive. A families influences heavily.
Within these two systems we have boundaries. There are three different types of boundaries that are apparent in a family.
Enmeshed . . . . . . . . . . which means more involvement than needs to be. For example; a mother oversteps her boundaries in child's life when the child is doing just fine.
Clear - - - - - - - - - - - which means equal means on both sides of the line
Rigid_____________ which means no involvement
In a family a normal relationship should be like this
The Father and Mother should be in the circle together with clear boundaries and children have clear boundaries outside the circle. The circle is called Executive/Parental subset
The affects of setting Trends . . .
In class we having been discussing the trends in society and how they are having an affect on Marriage and Family. Some of the trends that were studied and we read about are . . . premarital sex, births out of wedlock, living alone, cohabitation, delayed marriages, decrease in birth rate- which leads to lower count of house hold members, working mothers, and divorce.
What if we take premarital sex out of the trends? Would we then have all these other trends? Premarital sex has a HUGE part in all these trends and factors. Let's take pre-marital sex out of the picture. The things we would eliminate out of the world are, diseases would lower significantly, unwanted marriages would not take place, cohabitation is not a necessity, children would not be born out of wedlock which would improve the family system, and finally the mothers who have to work to support their children could stay in the home.
This factor not only affects the person and the partner and potential child- it affects the family of both individuals.
My teacher Brother Williams compared marriage and cohabitation to a glad container and a crystal glass bowl, which one do you use with more care? I would totally without a doubt handle with more care the crystal glass bowl compared to a plastic tupperware. Marriages are the crystal glass tupperware, which implies handle with care while cohabiting partners treat each other like a tupperware.
Is we ME values or WE values?
What if we take premarital sex out of the trends? Would we then have all these other trends? Premarital sex has a HUGE part in all these trends and factors. Let's take pre-marital sex out of the picture. The things we would eliminate out of the world are, diseases would lower significantly, unwanted marriages would not take place, cohabitation is not a necessity, children would not be born out of wedlock which would improve the family system, and finally the mothers who have to work to support their children could stay in the home.
This factor not only affects the person and the partner and potential child- it affects the family of both individuals.
My teacher Brother Williams compared marriage and cohabitation to a glad container and a crystal glass bowl, which one do you use with more care? I would totally without a doubt handle with more care the crystal glass bowl compared to a plastic tupperware. Marriages are the crystal glass tupperware, which implies handle with care while cohabiting partners treat each other like a tupperware.
Is we ME values or WE values?
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Beauty of the Earth . . . how do we compare it to families?!
Sometimes in life we take things for granted, I know I do all the time and not really stop to take in the moment. I looked out the window as the snow came down, an overwhelming gratitude entered my heart and thoughts raced through my mind as I reflected on what I have been learning in my classes and applying it to life. If you take each snow flake- they are all different and have different features. No two snowflakes are the same. If you ponder on this and think about it and realize that God created us- how amazing it is to know that there is no other person that looks like us.
In families, comparing it to snow, we all have our different personalities, talents, skills and looks, we have different dreams and aspirations. If you look at the snow as it lands on the ground- all together, ITS BEAUTIFUL! Being a family is a beautiful thing. What would we do without our families? Would the snow be as beautiful as it is? Where would we be without our loving familes?
In families, comparing it to snow, we all have our different personalities, talents, skills and looks, we have different dreams and aspirations. If you look at the snow as it lands on the ground- all together, ITS BEAUTIFUL! Being a family is a beautiful thing. What would we do without our families? Would the snow be as beautiful as it is? Where would we be without our loving familes?
Saturday, January 8, 2011
BeCoMiNg who you are
Being in class and listening to the discussion of family and the importance of family is really interesting to listen to and ponder upon it. As a class we discussed Elder Oaks talk
"The Challenge to Become"
"The Challenge to Become"
Some of my thoughts on this subject and talk were- of becoming who we are suppose to be is a learning process and takes some time.
Sometimes in life we go with the flow because it's the easiest way to follow . . . with family sometimes we are involved and grow up with things that we don't agree on. Let's compare this to a stream- in a stream the logs go with the flow to avoid conflict. The silt and rocks push forward. When a log blocks the stream, the log takes the brunt of everything and blocks the silt, moss, and rocks- leaving the water pure. Let's apply this to our lives, Don't just go with the flow-make the "stream" after you clean and pure. Be a purifying influence. Becoming this way may fill in your soul and make you become who you're suppose to be.
Become who you are suppose to be!
Why Family?
Many people wonder why family is so important in our society today? Some people don't understand the importance of family and the effects of having a family. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World it states, "We solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children . . . The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan." Take the two words that are bold and underlined, Central and Essential. These two words have significant meaning. Take a minute and think about your family and the influence they have in your life. Let us go back to the basics. . . Family isn't it about time.
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